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Immoderate Musings; Quibblesome Quarrels; Risible Rhapsodies on Music and Morals 
by David Van Alstyne 
Verses 105 - 144 Verses: 110 / 120 / 130 / 140 GLOSSARY PAGE 1 / PAGE 2 / PAGE 4 / PAGE 5 / PAGE 6 
In 105) dredging the depths of this cockeyed conundrum as if to fathom the amorphous nebulosity by impetration, feeling gobsmacked, clobbered and left almost without words in a dumbfounded conniption of incredulous consternation, while 106) so snowed and buffaloed and hunkering head down in a pungent putrescence, a cowering sequestration from the reek and the stench, the olfactory violation, of this benighting, but emphatically beloved, abomination, I 107) must, with sheepish contrition, confess that even I get corrupted by the whole ungodly mess when acceding to the pleasingly hypnagogic seduction, the ubiquitous snare, of vernacular acculturation by 108) tumbling headstrong, headlong into the trap, being nabbed, nailed, busted, tricked, totally tackled and taken by the bewiching temptation of slumming sedation and far too pragmatically entrancing transmigration wherein, 109) no matter the instrument, voice or venue, far too many a classical music consarcination, to the audience, must seem like a cause for reparation; an ugsome happening of de facto incarceration where, as 110) if they all had wanted to spend their money on the rare privilege of attending forced detention in a hostage situation, they gradually start to notice feeling bruised and beleaguered: mired in a drowsy morass of discombobulation which 111) dampens their dander down to distress and discomfiture which then descends to the very ends of squirming discountenance while their disconcerted disquietude still further deliquesces down to points past the discipline of stoic desperation, and thus a 112) tryingly outré, auditively ataractic ordeal (at very best, a sour hour of dour disconsolation) finally devolves into a smelter of unendurable adversity; a truly morphinic abyss of such eroded conation that when the 113) dustup, the slugfest, the motley melismatic melee, the maelstrom of musical mayhem, mercifully melts (and the storm subsides and lo, the ructions retreat, then behold, and listen! a bucolic bombination, the 114) efflux of anarchy, upheaval and seige; a pacific solatium; an arcadian vacation (as a matter of fact, it's really nothing much more than a strangely stertorous sort of quietly murmuring susurration from a 115) soothing surfeit, a sweet anxiolytic desert, of understandably escapist rest and attempted relaxation) now rises up, all too readily arousing a reformative rush of pride-impairing, richly rubefacient realization that by 116) some sort of seriocomically soporific snafu, in truth, the timely anodyne of symphonic etherization, they are all gently lulled into a suitably semblable senectitude, all lost in their private idylls of languid nutation, which 117) brings us forthwith, at last well past the cast for futzing in folderol or fudging in hesitation, to the gist and the grist of this excursive disquisition; this modestly poetic proposal imploring for rule and regulation that we 118) abandon our bewitchingly perfunctory picks and preferences like languishing in lethargically phlegmatic procrastination by taking the first small steps toward redemptive obviation of such distressing practices in our cold cultural sublation by 119) bravely essaying our way past a plodding modality, a paltry, poky, merely hypothetical formulation of rambling, probatorily irrelevant research, into the actual clinical trial, by direct implementation, of 120) admittedly on the fringe, and if in more than a few tiny ways, well okay, I guess a little radically avant-garde if you must, and yes, even conceivably a bit impractically unlikely, but nonetheless compulsively fastidious, experimentation with the 121) pre-emptive disbursement of minor medical assistance from amphetamines, (yes, in very deed! the nutritive application, by hugger-muggerly surreptitious supply and administration: the addition of strategic pharmaceutical invigoration), that is, 122) little measured morsels of modern molecular design, offered always sub rosa with judicious synchronization, namely, quietly handed out concomitantly with the printed playbill: that usual glossy fare of basic program information at least 123) depending on the music, at carefully chosen concerts their, (although always generously complimentary, but of course, yet still, always by all means otherwise, wisely discretionary) stringless gift, issuance and free dissemination for the 124) fostering of fine, friendly philophonetic fellowship through high giddy games of glad-handing and phatic persiflage, if not the sharpening of judgment, as well, by the nascence of knowledgeability in matters of music appreciation. But 125) seriously for a moment, to suggest any less questionable premise for culminant cultural convocation, and a bit more enticing to those few among us of a little less certifiably frivolous inclination, I 126) hereby dare to propose a probably improbable but contradistinctively responsible recommendation; a felicitous phantasm which certainly embodies much more intriguingly sound and salubrious innovation for 127) strictly exogenous and therefore assuredly more deeply satisfying and acceptably accessible, less evanescent and much more achievably comprehensible transports of innocent excitation; a 128) much better maneuver; a much more tenable tack plainly more propitiously propped up with promise for an independent, sempiternally replenishable plenitude of pluripotently multiplicative perceptual augmentation: namely, with 129) clear, clarion clamor and cultured conspicuity, our assiduous avowal and our adamant acclamation of intrepid, perennially saponaceous expurgation by our climbing up the cuspate acclivity toward acclimatization to the 130) altitude of altogether cleansing oblation by completly repenting unto reboant repudiation of the discredited and crumbling credo of hackneyed acting and ancillary hebephrenically foppish affectation; our 131) crusade for unobstructed interpretive crystallization with such newly higher levels of astute differentiation as can only hope to be heard in the eventual finalization of all our keenly perspicacious care and preparation; a 132) dependably true and ever faithful reflection of refractive reverence in the abiding gestation of its sublime and supernally incandescent new powers of lift, levitation and empyrean edification, by the 133) aerial ascendency of our hotly addressing the amendatory alembic of ample amelioration through a rough, rugged and roundly renovative revolution of rescission, rejection and raw renunciation of 134) all things found to be hypocritically invested with an aura that darkly disinclines to discernment, more fully comprehended in hindsight's so conveniently clean and coldly clarifying confirmation, of the 135) axiomatic prototype; the surprising peak specimen of epitomic, extravagantly eximious exemplification; a life-changing lesson in radiant perceptivity; inimitable as an instrumental agent of illustration which 136) renders an unpalatably bleak, brambly bromide out of any slam-dunk misapprehensive supererogation of conjecturally extrapolatory exertion in the epexegetical exercise of extemporaneous epistemological expatiation; no 137) less than an archtypically stellar luminosity; a functional laser lamp of inductive interpretation; a decidedly definitive (if dreary) delamination of apically appointed pertinence in the empirical indagation of this 138) superveniently garish glut of gewgaws and pop slop: tidal waves of hog wash, hieratic hot beans and baloney, with the stress and traumatization of its thorough assimilation in what stubbornly seems to be our insuperable solicitation of the 139) beguiling but also, remember, begriming and bestially imbruting inundation and throbbing saturation of so much corrosive and corruptingly invasive license in a soup of unfiltered sensualization in 140) favor of, (albeit, if only as far as it goes for the hoi polloi - that is, as they say, your right regular rummy rabble and riffraff - somehow less appreciable, yet no less elysian) fields in what ought to be realms of revelation for 141) which, for all their far surpassing infinitude of ineffably blissful and blessing beautification, we still seem to sink to wink at seeking a mephitic stink of droning, ham-fisted, supraliminal unsubtilization (in a 142) great gonzo Gehenna of gullibly green gulosity and Sisyphean toil well embroidered, just for show of competitive servility, where heaving thespian sighs brings forth great big globular beads of synthetic perspiration) by 143) unbudgeably indulging ourselves in all the engrossments of entropic indolence and myopic amentia while really raddled, self-bilked and insouciantly soused in a summative stupefaction that harbors hebetation: ever an 144) irredeemably uncouth, well-knockably hidebound, imperviously wayward, obscurely synergic, obstinately xylocephalic, doubtlessly obtuse and (apologies to sheep) ovine order of aspiration. 
GLOSSARY fathom the amorphous nebulosity by impetration - to figure out, simply by asking, what no one has ever been able to figure out simply by thinking gobsmacked - smacked in your face with quantity of gob; smacked in your gob with an oversized anchovie; utterly astounded or astonished dumbfounded conniption of incredulous consternation - a fit of hysterical excitement where you nearly faint from surprise and disbelief (like when your son drops out of Harvard Medical School to become a human canonball in the circus) Merriam-Webster Dictionary hunkering head down in a pungent putrescence, a cowering sequestration from the reek and the stench, the olfactory violation, of this benighting, but emphatically beloved, abomination - settling into something that really stinks, as a way of avoiding something even more stinky which is almost universally embraced (like voting for a presidential candidate you can't stand because the other one is even more morally depraved, which makes him or her very popular) Merriam-Webster Dictionary acceding to the pleasingly hypnagogic seduction - letting yourself become hypnotized into doing things that you would never do otherwise, but you have to admit, they feel very good ubiquitous snare - a trap that is everywhere vernacular acculturation - becoming just like everyone else in your group Merriam-Webster Dictionary being nabbed, nailed, busted, tricked, totally tackled and taken - it means you've been had; they got you bewiching temptation of slumming sedation - an enchanting persuasion to dull your senses in order to live far beneath your dignity far too pragmatically entrancing transmigration - when killing yourself looks like a much better idea before you do it than it does after you've finished Merriam-Webster Dictionary classical music consarcination - where you patiently sit in the audience while the musicians play a patchwork of notes that sound better if you are deaf, and hardly deserve to be called "classical," where the perpetrators dress up in tuxedos and gowns, and the audience has to be polite and refrain from yelling, booing, and throwing things until the noise on stage is over cause for reparation - a good reason for demanding money from whoever did this, to cover the your costs of property damage, bail, lawyers' fees, psychiatric therapy, the price of a new suit because the blood wouldn't come out, and punitive damages to soften your determination to kill yourself ugsome happening - a frightful event, like a 12-hour heavy metal recital loud enough to kill the birds flying nearby, or a Beethoven string quartet transcribed for bagpipes, where you react by saying "Ugh!" de facto incarceration - annoyingly similar to being locked up in jail Merriam-Webster Dictionary bruised and beleaguered - how you might feel after they pull you out of the cement mixer into which your mother-in-law "accidentally" pushed you mired in a drowsy morass of discombobulation - how you feel from the time you get up in the morning until lunch the next day, because you accidentally took sleeping pills instead of aspirin for your headache Merriam-Webster Dictionary descends to the very ends of squirming discountenance - their disapproval gets so intense that they look like they're trying to reach for their guns under the table disconcerted disquietude still further deliquesces down to points past the discipline of stoic desperation - where you jump up and start yelling "I'm mad as Hell (or Hades if you prefer) and I'm not going to take it any more!!" or "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" depending on your religious faith Merriam-Webster Dictionary auditively ataractic ordeal - where the music you are hearing puts you into a virtual coma, for which you should be grateful dour disconsolation - when nothing, not even feeling bad, can make you feel better devolves into a smelter of unendurable adversity - when life seems to become a firey furnace that you wish would just consume you and get it over with (but don't worry, the school bell will ring soon and you can go home and run in the sprinklers) truly morphinic abyss of such eroded conation - where you're drugged into such a stupor that you begin thinking it would be good for the country if you were elected to congress Merriam-Webster Dictionary ructions retreat - they get tired of hitting each other over the head with their instruments, and besides, there is nothing left of their instruments anyway (this is how some orchestras go out of business due to financial problems, but they don't tell you it's because they can't afford to buy everybody new instruments to replace the ones they beat each other over their heads with) bucolic bombination - sounds like the peaceful hum of life way off in yonder countryside Merriam-Webster Dictionary pacific solatium - a state of calm, compensating, to the extent that you can be calm after an experience like that, for all the emotional harm you suffered arcadian vacation - where you trade what you're supposed to be doing for a passing fantasy of innocent contentment stertorous sort of quietly murmuring susurration - where you think all the people in the audience are rudely whispering, but actually they're snoring Merriam-Webster Dictionary reformative rush of pride-impairing, richly rubefacient realization - the shock of reality slapping you in your proverbial face, leaving your real face blushing red with embarrassment Merriam-Webster Dictionary timely anodyne of symphonic etherization - where the music is so bad that it makes you numb, mercifully relieving the pain that it's causing you suitably semblable senectitude - looking and acting like you are 107 years old, give or take private idylls of languid nutation - the dreams we enjoy as we nod off to sleep Merriam-Webster Dictionary well past the cast for futzing in folderol or fudging in hesitation - too late for fooling around just so you can avoid the subject at hand gist and the grist of this excursive disquisition - the main point of this discussion which has now gone completely off track modestly poetic proposal imploring for rule and regulation - a humble request for a few guidelines (just enough to keep the inmates from running the asylum) Merriam-Webster Dictionary redemptive obviation of such distressing practices in our cold cultural sublation - where we keep our souls by quitting our socially desirable attempts to deny the existence of uplifting, stimulating and beautiful things around us Merriam-Webster Dictionary paltry, poky, merely hypothetical formulation of rambling, probatorily irrelevant research - studying, with very little concentration, ideas that have nothing to do with the pressing questions at hand, also refered to as "thinking outside the box" clinical trial, by direct implementation - where you conduct research on something by actually trying it out Merriam-Webster Dictionary a little radically avant-garde - at the very forefront of progress (or the forefront of nonsense if you are able to recognize the difference) a bit impractically unlikely, but nonetheless compulsively fastidious, experimentation - although your research is highly unpromising due to its excessive goofiness, it is nevertheless an extremely clean and careful process of trial and error, and causes relatively few deaths Merriam-Webster Dictionary nutritive application - putting it to work either by eating it or injecting it directly into the blood stream hugger-muggerly surreptitious - secretive addition of strategic pharmaceutical invigoration - where you give the audience drugs that will make them willing, or too impaired to feel otherwise, to remain alive at least until the concert is over Merriam-Webster Dictionary always sub rosa with judicious synchronization - where you bring things together, always with very careful timing so that no one notices concomitantly with the printed playbill - right along with the printed program which they put into your hands Merriam-Webster Dictionary Merriam-Webster Dictionary nascence of knowledgeability in matters of music appreciation - the very beginnings of actually knowing something about music Merriam-Webster Dictionary those few among us of a little less certifiably frivolous inclination - we who aren't quite as flaky as the rest of you Merriam-Webster Dictionary felicitous phantasm - a pleasant dream ("Good night. Have felicitous phantasms.") embodies much more intriguingly sound and salubrious innovation - brings changes that are far more sensible and better for your health Merriam-Webster Dictionary assuredly more deeply satisfying and acceptably accessible - certainly feels a lot better, and you can get it without ruining everything else in your life less evanescent - lasts longer achievably comprehensible transports of innocent excitation - acceptable ways to get excited without crippling yourself, loosing your mind or breaking the law Merriam-Webster Dictionary much more tenable tack - finally a method that won't make your brain explode more propitiously propped up with promise - something you can more easily count on than all the other things independent - where you don't need any artificial help, thank you sempiternally replenishable - you will never run out plenitude of pluripotently multiplicative perceptual augmentation - a whole world of great ideas and new ways of thinking; something that blows your mind Merriam-Webster Dictionary cultured conspicuity - purposely making yourself very noticeable (like standing up in the middle of a church service and playing the bagpipes, or inhaling helium before reading a news story on national tevision about a disgruntled employee burning down of an orphanage in Florida) assiduous avowal and adamant acclamation - where you do all you can to demonstrate how wildly in favor you are of something intrepid - fearless; opposite of outtrepid perennially saponaceous expurgation - the unending effect of moral cleansing, especially when accomplished with soap (not suggesting that you pour a box of laundry detergent into the water when you are baptised because that misses the point, but rather like when your mother washes your mouth out with a bar of soap after you've uttered some poorly chosen words at your brother, forgetting that she was standing right between you and could hear every illchosen syllable) climbing up the cuspate acclivity toward acclimatization - where you visciously claw your way up to the top where you can comfortably join the other viscious people in peace and love Merriam-Webster Dictionary reboant repudiation - your rejection of something, meant to loudly reverberate as if you are yelling at the top of your lungs inside an empty Westminster Abbey discredited and crumbling credo of hackneyed acting - where we are no longer effected by your displays of artificial emotion ancillary hebephrenically foppish affectation - the part of your hackneyed acting (see above) which involves looking like you're having hallucinations Merriam-Webster Dictionary astute differentiation - that which makes one thing different from another, for those who are clever enough to see it; astute refers to one single stute, whereas two or more stutes refer to higher levels of stuteliness keenly perspicacious care and preparation - the finished product of our wise and sharply intelligent efforts, if we do say so ourselves Merriam-Webster Dictionary sublime and supernally incandescent new powers of lift, levitation and empyrean edification - great spiritual gifts that transport us into a higher sphere Merriam-Webster Dictionary hotly addressing the amendatory alembic of ample amelioration - working hard to make things better roundly renovative revolution - really turning things around rescission, rejection and raw renunciation - an effective statement that you've finally had it Merriam-Webster Dictionary Merriam-Webster Dictionary peak specimen - the best possible example epitomic, extravagantly eximious exemplification - an example that is far more wonderful than we need it to be radiant perceptivity - bright and shining powers of insightful observation, as illustrated when your boss yells at you, "Get out of my office right now, and I never want to see your face again!" and your response is, "Does that mean you want me to go?" inimitable as an instrumental agent of illustration - can't be beat for making things clear Merriam-Webster Dictionary slam-dunk misapprehensive supererogation - doing more than is required, because if you don't, you're afraid you'll be fired from your job, then you'll miss your house payments, and you won't be able to buy food, and then you'll end up on the streets homeless and starving to death conjecturally extrapolatory exertion in the epexegetical exercise of extemporaneous epistemological expatiation - the bewildering process of trying to figure out who you are and what planet you came from Merriam-Webster Dictionary inductive interpretation - where you observe different things and draw them together toward a general conclusion definitive (if dreary) delamination of apically pointed pertinence in the empirical indagation - getting right to the heart of your investigation without any beating around the bush or throwing any spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks Merriam-Webster Dictionary hog-wash - the soapy solution you use to wash your giant pig when he's not looking, or the kind of metaphoric slop that pompously academic gas bags like to throw in your face to demonstrate that they don't know what they're talking about hieratic hot beans and baloney - highly formal but purely pretentious nonsense (hot beans are more serious than ordinary beans) stress and traumatization of its thorough assimilation - the damage that's done when we actually start to believe what they're telling us insuperable solicitation - where we just can't keep ourselves from asking for it Merriam-Webster Dictionary inundation and throbbing saturation - feeling overwhelmed and buried up to your eyebrows in a giant, gooey blob that has a frightening heart beat corrosive and corruptingly invasive salaciousness in a soup of unfiltered sensualization - music that switches your baser animal instincts on and the thinking part of your brain off Merriam-Webster Dictionary right regular rummy rabble and riffraff - correctly identified as rather unconventional folks who characteristically tend to be disorganized, confused, willfully uneducated, disreputable, and mildly insane less appreciable, yet no less elysian fields - almost inconceivably beautiful heavenly places where we all want to romp and play like little puppy dogs Merriam-Webster Dictionary sink to wink at seeking a mephitic stink of droning, ham-fisted, supraliminal unsubtilization - where we resist the understandable urge to shoot those so-called musicians, those perveyors of public madness, who aren't just satisfied with wailing and screaming against the deafening blast of electric guitars so loud that birds fall dead from the sky, but now, in order to further whip their audiences into hysterical riots where they often trample each other to death, they seek to out-do each other by biting the heads off of live bats, performing obscene bodily functions and smashing their instruments over each other's heads, all while dancing around as if the floor is on fire - and this is only how they warm themselves up in the green-room before the concert Merriam-Webster Dictionary gullibly green gulosity - where your thoughtles greed leads you to quickly eat everything on the table while your hungry friends watch in disbelief Sisyphean toil - work that keeps getting undone as soon as you finish it (like cleaning your house, or establishing peace among nations) well embroidered, for show of competitive servility - made to look more difficult than it was, so you can look more like a slave than you were heaving thespian sighs - appearing to be thoughtfully cheerful after just finishing a lovely Thanksgiving dinner when a large tree falls into your dining room, crushing your entire family while you happened to be in the kitchen trying to fit the last pumpkin pie onto your plate globular beads of synthetic perspiration - big round drops of fake sweat Merriam-Webster Dictionary engrossments - things that attract and hold all of your attention entropic indolence - laziness turning into total paralysis myopic amentia - the condition under which you try to function when you were blessed with a brain that would never allow you to understand things beyond the end of your nose (of course, if you have a very long nose, you can understand more than people with short noses) really raddled - when your brain suddenly seems a bit smaller, which might explain why it's rolling around inside your head self-bilked - where you are so good at cheating others that now you have managed to cheat yourself insouciantly soused in a summative stupefaction that harbors hebetation - so confused and deluded that you don't even care that you've gotten drunk with a special kind of stupidity that fosters its own depth of dim-wittedness Merriam-Webster Dictionary well-knockably hidebound - when your resistance to changing anything is easy to make fun of imperviously wayward - so determined to do things wrong that nobody can stop you (except with a big butterfly net) obscurely synergic - where people don't seem to realize that they're working together like a well-oiled machine obstinately xylocephalic - stubbornly wooden-headed doubtlessly obtuse - not the sharpest knife in the drawer, to be sure apologies to sheep - in case any shepherds might be reading this to their sheep, we don't want the sheep to be offended, no matter how anti-sheep we sound ovine order of aspiration - having about as much desire for achievement as sheep (that's a compliment to sheep who are too smart to want to join the human rat race) Merriam-Webster Dictionary 
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